Domestic Violence What Every Pastor Needs to Know by Al Miles

According to the American Medical Association, one quarter of American women will be abused by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Loving support can make a tremendous difference to survivors as they struggle with the difficult process of healing and regaining trust in themselves and others. Often, however, pastoral caregivers possess the same misconceptions about domestic violence as does the uninformed public. Al Miles addresses the issues related to inadequate pastoral response to this pervasive problem. He explores the dynamics of abusive relationships and the role that clergy members can take to heal this painful situation. The new edition of Domestic Violence builds upon the insights, policies, and programs of the original volume and includes new information on the pathology of domestic violence and the effect the economic downturn is having on victim-survivors and batterers. Miles also focuses on helping clergy and other pastoral ministers develop a more compassionate response to victim-survivors who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender.

Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare by Shahida Arabi

Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as “narcissistic abuse.” Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience. In this book, survivors will learn: •The red flags of narcissistic behavior and covert manipulation tactics, including subtle signs many survivors don’t catch in the early stages of dating a narcissist. •The motives behind narcissistic abuse and techniques to resist a narcissist’s manipulation.  •Why abuse survivors usually stay with a narcissist long after incidents of abuse occur. •How our own brain chemistry locks us into an addiction with a narcissistic or toxic partner, creating cravings for the constant chaos of the abuse cycle.

More valuable books:

• The Sacred Selves of adolescent Girls; Hard Stories of Race, Class, and Gender- Evelyn L. Parker 
• The Practice of Pastoral Care, Carrie Doehring
• Human Development and Faith- Felicity B. Kelcourse 
• Counseling Depressed Women, Susan J. Dunlap  
• Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman
• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving – Pete Walker 
• Mending the Cloth – Rev. Lisa E. Tunstall
• We Real Cool- Bell Hooks 
• The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love- Bell Hooks 
• All About Love- Bell Hooks
• Communion- Bell Hooks 
• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations For a Lifetime of Love-  Sue Johnson

Websites for constructing programing and resources