Abusive relationships are often preceded by some indication that there is a dynamic present that may become harmful. The sooner one can identify the abusive relationship identifiers, the sooner one may make a different choice and opt out of an interpersonal relationship where pain and drama could be the pervasive experience. Here are a list of identifiable red flags that shed light on the possibility that a relationship may be headed down an abusive pathway:
- Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
- Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems “too good to be true.”
- Wants you all to him- or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
- Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
- Does not honor your boundaries.
- Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
- Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.
- Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.
- Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.
- Has a history of abusing others.
- Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, “My ex was totally crazy.”
- Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
- Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others. https://nnedv.org/content/red-flags-of-abuse/